what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
