Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
