ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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