also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if i died would you start the facebook group?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
