i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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