I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
