dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
