why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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