you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize