it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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