I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
