Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
PANTIES FOUND
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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