eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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