you would pick up someone in the library
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
