Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
