Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
bring money and cleavage
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
