omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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