On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
