you guys were way drunker than both of me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
