new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Randomize
