he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
