Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
