maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
