You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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