I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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