Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
