I hate your face
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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