I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
