Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
