Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
