I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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