the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
