There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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