well I can't set my house on fire every night
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can I color on your dick again?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
