pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
