mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
