My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
