i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
