Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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