had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
