Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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