Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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