Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
