She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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