we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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