i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
