I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
