I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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