So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
