I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dick very happy bro
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
