what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
