i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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