found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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