Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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