You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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