can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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