Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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