They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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