dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
