we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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